February 2012
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Leggo That Preggo
Kid: What you up to?
me: Living life, not impregnating anyone. The usual.
Kid: Oh God, I misread the shit outta that.
me: That would be hilarious though.
Kid: If everyone we graduated with just started having kids?
me: People in other parts of the country are already starting families. We’re the weird city folk refusing to grow up.
Kid: We should all knock up our high school sweethearts.
me: I’d rather drag my dick through a mile of broken glass.
Kid: You think I’ll get a wedding invite?
me: That would be amazing. The drunk toast at the reception is practically writing itself.
Kid: I MUST GIVE THE TOAST! I could bring up the Chinese prostitute…
me: Something tells me you’d be seated with the kids, elderly and irrelevant in the back. After the Best Man’s speech is when you drunkenly cling your glass and stand up.
Kid: YES!
me: “So uhhhh, whaaat's guuuucci?!? Firstly of all I gotta say to the whore and groom...mazel tov, niggas!”
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